TWO FOR THE ROAD

TWO FOR THE ROAD

Well hey, bartender, hear my story
There’s no sadder tale than mine
My path’s run a-crooked
As my fucked up, mangled spine

My pa a drunken conman
And my ma a soiled dove
I’m the product of their union
But was not born out of love

I had a premature arrival
In a filthy alleyway
So hideous my visage
She abandoned me that day

And if it weren’t for the pity
Of a half blind gypsy crone
Well I couldn’t be more certain
That I would have died alone!

CHORUS
So put a glass before me
For I have carried a heavy load
Give me a pour of your best whiskey
And give me one more, two more
Two more for the road

Well I know you’d be hard pressed to find
A more unlucky pair
Anywhere we tried to settle
Why, they ran us out of there

And let me tell you, it ain’t easy
Just to go it on your own
I turned to whores and whiskey
Once that crone was dead and gone

Still I think of Mama often
When a dove is under me
And I get a rise just wonderin’
If she ever thinks of me

See they always charge me extra
And right afterwards, they flea
But that short time we’re together
Well I almost feel I’m free, hey!

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Though I’m clubfooted with a horror show face
Well I am not blind
That the world just ain’t kind
Each night, I curse God in a drunken haze
For putting me in this bind
But he don’t pay no mind
No, not to my kind!